Once upon a time, what now feels like a long time ago, there was a girl who decided to start a blog.
She was always a writer, a thinker, a creative and a very curious soul.
With no clue where it would eventually take her, she decided to start a blog to be sort of a digital scrapbook to capture the memories of remodeling her childhood home alongside her husband and own children.
The tales of transforming a shabby little cottage by the creek.
Little did she know that one day would start a domino effect that would change her entire life.
Ok, you already know the girl is me…. so I’m gonna set aside the storybook style so I can just dive in, k?
So I started a blog… which became an Esty shop, which became a book deal, which became the catalyst for me building a blogging empire, which led to me becoming burnt out. Which led to 984 other things that would be wayyyyy too much for me to write about in an entire book, let alone a blog post.
Let’s just fast forward to three years ago…. I was in an MLM, trying to work myself to death, running up the ranks in a pyramid scheme that was built for you to never reach the top of. Only six folks in the (albeit short) history of the company had ever accomplished it… and they all joined within just a few weeks of when it officially launched.
But I was trying – and hard. I signed up for coaching under an amazing business coach… and while her coaching did not help me to get any higher or make any more money… what it did was exemplify what healing your trauma looks like. Because she went through her own intense healing journey as I was participating in her very intimate mastermind.
Watching her go through her healing journey over the course of a year was inspiring to me on so many levels. And it catapulted my own quest to heal.
I’d already somewhat started with my own journey of self-help… but when you have trauma SO complex that you literally get misdiagnosed with bi-polar disorder because your trauma mimics the symptoms, The Library of Congress does not have enough books to help you DIY your healing.
Through a series of events, the universe aligned me to have the perfect therapist that would help me to find the actual road to recovery.
And ohhhh… what a bumpy path that has been. One full of twists, turns, ups, downs, wins and catastrophic losses.
However, for us to find the light within ourselves, we must walk through the dark.
I could be here all day writing my own story, but instead I want to share the ten lessons I learned on the path to my Happily Ever After….
- You cannot heal in the place you were hurt. Neither physically or mentally. Healing takes space.
- When you begin to heal, you will realize that everything you thought to be true about yourself was all wrong. You are primarily comprised of the beliefs of others who have imprinted on you, and you have to strip all of those away before you can get to the truth of who you are.
- You’re going to lose folks along the way. Some will come back. Some won’t.
- How other people react to you healing is none of your business. If they get upset that you’ve changed to improve your mental health, then they do not have your best interests at heart.
- You are not responsible for other people’s emotions. You cannot MAKE anyone feel any way.
- Other people cannot make YOU feel any sort of way without your permission. YOU are responsible for your own emotions.
- There are no good or bad emotions. The “negative” emotions typically indicate that you need to set boundaries so that you can stay in the “positive” ones.
- Thoughts are the only things we can actually control in our lives. If you are not choosing thoughts on purpose, the thoughts that are rolling around in your noggin were put there by somebody else.
- The folks that get upset by you creating boundaries are the ones who benefitted from your lack of them. The more upset they get, the more they benefitted.
- The healed version of you is gonna piss some people off. Shine anyway. Because you deserve to live your VERY best life – regardless of what others think. What other people think ain’t none of your business.
You get to choose, my friend. Do you wanna be the “Before” or the “After” version of yourself? I’m gonna pick the after. Because that’s what “Happily Ever After” meant all along.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for SHINING so brightly that we can see out of the darkness!
Super transformation pics!♥️
You and your transformation are just awe-inspiring to me! I used to openly practice Wicca despite being raised Southern Baptist, because even though I have always felt aligned to God(even before really attending church) I also always felt there was more to it- the feminine energy, the innate knowledgeof how to heal and manifest for good, protect from harm, etc . I do it on a more low key level now like always using natural remedies as often as possible! Thank you for your blog, Instagram, and other platforms! I’ve truly enjoyed seeing you blossom into your true self!
I enjoy your thoughts and opinions and wish I was younger to have longer to put your practice into use. But what I got I got and here I go. Thanks loads for everything you share. Brave soul that you are.
Thanks for sharing
I just don’t get #8. How does a person choose their thoughts? I might choose to think about other things or not act on certain thoughts but to control thoughts? My head is full of all kinds of thoughts at any given moment. I might not want them all there but I don’t believe I put them there or control them. I can’t just turn them on and off. I also don’t understand what you mean when you say if you aren’t choosing your thoughts on purpose then the thoughts are put there by someone else? Can you explain further or give me an example? I just don’t see how we can control our thoughts. What am I missing or not understanding?
I can absolutely explain! Just because something pops up into your head doesn’t mean it is true. We all that struggle of hearing the voices of others in our head. And the vast majority of those “thoughts” are just imprints of memories that stuck in your head from what someone along your path in life said to you or how they made you feel. But the key is recognizing that those thoughts are not real. I like to think of them like the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland – they randomly appear out of nowhere and confuse you.
Those are “intrusive” thoughts. And just like you said “I don’t believe them” which means you are actively choosing not to live with them as the determining factor in your life.
So between the “intrusive” thoughts and your “intentional” thoughts – you make the choice of which one to go with. That is choosing your thoughts. I have found that journaling out the intrusive ones and pondering on how they got to be there is the way to purge them. If you just dismiss them, they will pop back up. In the beginning it’s a bit like playing whack-a-mole, but eventually it gets easier and easier. Hope this helps!
Your physical transformation is no less profound than your emotional one, and I am among your many admirers! I am so pleased that I found you on Facebook a few years ago. I don’t know if your openness and honesty have been catalysts for me, but I feel much more peaceful and artistically renewed after being “introduced” to you.
Thank you, Gina!
Awww thank you! I’m honored to be a tiny dot on your path to your best life <3